The DEI Oath

The Jefferson Council has heard from a tenured University of Virginia professor who has been required to submit a statement detailing his contributions to Diversity, Equity & Inclusion (DEI) in his teaching, research and service. In response, he has composed the following parody. Seeking to avoid administrative retribution and social ostracism, he asks to remain anonymous.I pledge allegiance to Diversity, Equity and Inclusion, and to those People for whom it represents, without liberty and justice for all.I promise to discriminate by preferencing certain demographic groups over others, and to stereotype by identifying some demographic groups as "oppressors" and others as "victims," regardless of individual differences.Further, I commit to ignore all science that highlights many forms of "privilege" that substantially reduce any racial or gender effects, such as: income, status, network, height, weight, age, looks, IQ, likeability, humor, health, and so forth.I denounce Martin Luther King and strive to judge people solely by their gender and skin color and not by the content of their character.In service to DEI, I promise to completely ignore ideological diversity, as free and independent thinkers might corrupt the DEI movement.Finally, I pledge to indoctrinate this in every class and with every student.